Preparing for Christmas after a loss

Such a loss! Such a keen and tearing pain. Even when I am in a crowded room, there is a loneliness I never knew existed. Comforting God, I have turned to you so many times for solace, and I come again. While the world is bright and sparkling, my heart feels leaden and has an emptiness that cannot be filled.

Lord, how can I enter into this season of joy? In my head I celebrate your birth into this world, but in my everyday life, I am filled with a grief that runs so very deep. You blessed me with a loving relationship and now it is gone from my life. How can I be faithful to that love and the memory of that love and my sorrow in this season of "Rejoice!"??

Tears are so close to the surface all the time and helpful friends who want to "keep me busy" don't seem to really understand that I need to embrace my grief. I am afraid of letting go of the sadness and losing the deep love connection I had.

Instead of entering into the Rejoice of Christmas, I long for the sorrow of Lent. I beg you Lord, show me how the two are connected. I ponder the name Emmanuel and know that it means "God with us." With us. With me in this world, in this sorrow. If I look beyond my pain, I know that you, too, suffered so much in this world. I never understood so clearly before that Emmanuel is what your nativity is really about. You are in my world, in my pain.

Thank you, Lord, for the loved one you blessed my life with. Grant me now in my grief, a peace. Give me a comfort that might not make the tears go away, but that lets me feel your presence as you take up a place deep in my heart, with me.







Source: Creighton University Online Ministries

http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Advent....

Christmas Lights: Christ & Coca-Cola

I was checking out some of the Holiday Lights... oops, I mean, "Christmas Lights" on youtube, just for fun. And I ran across this one. 64,000 (or, maybe 65,000?) LED lights to the Coca-Cola song. Sounds fun.

So the title page says, "Putting Christ back into Christmas." Huh? Come again? With the Coca-Cola song?

Now I'm a big fan of Classic Coke myself, but.... I just find this "Too Funny"... And I guess I've never been a fan of the phrase, "Putting Christ back into Christmas." It seems rather presumptuous. And hypersensitive.

But anyway, have fun watching the show... and then scroll down for a few more comments about "Putting Christ back into Christmas."



Here's what I think, for what it's worth: God's grace goes far beyond what we can imagine. We can see God's grace in the Mpls Holidazzle Parade, in a humble but delicious assortment of baked goodies shared by a neighbor, in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, in a meal with my kids, in a cheerful greeting at the check-out counter at Barnes & Noble, in the face of a Muslim child putting a quarter in the Salvation Army kettle, and in a homey Budweiser television commercial featuring the Clydesdale horses pulling a sleigh with a Christmas tree. And yes, grace is found in 64,999 LED lights dancing to the Coca-Cola song! At least it's better than Pepsi.

But here's my main thesis: Grace is most certainly deeper and broader and higher than any "Christmas" which "needs to be saved" by zealots who are offended by an innocently-uttered "happy holidays to you" and yet are not offended by oppression or injustice. If you really want to put Christ back into Christmas, join the prayer of the Christmas angels:

Glory to God in the heavenly heights;
and on earth...
on earth where there exists
so much conflict
and violence
and hatred...
on earth...
Let there be peace on earth,
and let it begin with me.

Does this make sense at all?
Whack me with an old fruit cake if I'm way out in left field on this one. :))
But I think I'm right.
The only question is whether I've expressed it clearly enough. ;)

Grace and peace...

Halfway through Advent - have I missed it?

Dear Jesus,

It's halfway through Advent and I'm not sure what happened. I really wanted to make this a reflective and calm season, preparing for your birth and pondering how you came into this world in such a stunningly humble way. But it's so busy and I'm distracted and sometimes even short-tempered with those I love the most. Where are you in THAT?

I am discouraged and wish I could start over. But as I sit here in the rare moment of silence, I contemplate your birth. In a bed of straw, with the smell of manure everywhere. It's a mess in that stable ... and come to think of it, my life is a little messy, too. I suddenly see that it is not just into the mess of the stable but into my mess that you enter the world. You came into a humble place and that humility is often where I live my life - feeling guilty or distracted and wishing I were a better person. But if I stop thinking of myself and focus on you, I realize that there you are, waiting to love me, even though I have so many unfulfilled good intentions about prayer, so many desires of how to change this fleeting Advent season.

I can begin Advent today and make this season deeper by making room in my heart for you. I can take just a moment before I get out of bed in the morning and feel the empty place in my life I so often fill with my busy-ness. It is there I need you the most. Come, Lord Jesus. Come into that dark and lonely spot in my heart. You know what my needs are more than I do. Let me feel your love. If I only carry that thought with me each day, it will prepare me for Christmas.

Thank you, Jesus. It's not too late. You are waiting to enter my life today, where ever I let you in. Help me to open my heart in these remaining days.

Source: Creighton University

http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Advent/advent-prayers.html#Exhaustion